Hi Mumof4
Reading your post, the thing that strikes me is how you are still more or less in the dark even after - presumably - many consultations with your gynae' and your GP.
This is not your fault!
But, considering that I think of myself as a bossy, confident, grown up woman, I always astound myself to find that I come out of any consultation with only half my queries answered!
What on earth happens to us during these appointments? Is it that we are very conscious of the corridor full of women waiting their turn as the clock ticks and ticks on the wall? Is it that, faced with the superior knowledge of the doctor, we don't want to feel even smaller and more childlike by revealing that we didn't understand a word he said (well in my case it was a he but sometimes women doctors can be as bad)?
What I have found helps is a) research....look up everything you don't understand on the internet just to get an idea (only don't go assuming it is ALL true as it's hard to tell the good info from the bad - though even saying that...a rough idea is better than no idea at all!); b) think of every question you still need an answer for and type it out on a sheet of paper then - and here's the important bit - GIVE IT TO THE DOC at the start of the consultation! This prevents you from getting that consciousness of "other people waiting " and surreptitiously (sometimes subconsciously) crossing off questions from the list because of time passing. And take a pen with you to write down the answers because you'll never remember half of it when you get home.
This does work though it felt a bit odd the first time I did it and also I still felt a bit like a malingerer!
And writing all this prompts me to say that so far I haven't been completely successful with this strategy but it's usually because I haven't followed the GIVE IT TO DOC rule or haven't written down answers. Memo to self and anyone else who's listening: DON'T BE SHY!